Мысли вслух

Мысли вслух

Памяти моей Мамы Посвящаю!

Дел и дорог
будет в жизни немало...
Спросим себя:
ну, а где их начало?

Вот он, ответ наш,
Правильный самый:
ВСЁ, ЧЕМ ЖИВЁМ,
НАЧИНАЕТСЯ С МАМЫ!         (А. Костецкий)

То, что пусто теперь, — не про то разговор,
Вдруг заметил я — нас было двое.
Для меня будто ветром задуло костер,
Когда Ты не вернулась из боя.       (В. Высоцкий)

Тяжело и очень и очень трудно писать такое, но я решил, что надо. Этой публикацией я хочу отдать свой последний сыновий долг перед моей любимой Мамой, моим любимым Рыжиком, которая ушла от меня в свой последний и самый дальний рейс, из которого она уже никогда ко мне не вернётся, НИКОГДА. С этим трудно смириться, умом я понимаю, а сердцем нет, хотя и давно морально был готов к такому развитию событий. Только недавно, 9 сентября в своей публикации «Папа, отец и просто БАТЯ на все времена !!!» я писал о своём отце, воспоминания о нём были навеяны хорошей и доброй песней Вячеслава Мясникова о папах. Тогда же поделился своими мыслями о любви к своим предкам, своим корням в статье «С любимыми не расставайтесь. Боготворите их здесь и сейчас. Размышления». И вот теперь ушла от меня и Мама, последняя из «могикан».

Ничего не предвещало такого трагического и быстрого развития событий. В первых числах октября я собирался к ней снова приехать, о чём мы с ней договорились по телефону. 25 сентября она позвонила мне как обычно и сказала свою коронную фразу: «Ну что сынок, пока всё нормально, замерила давление и сахар, всё в пределах нормы».

Дело в том, что я с ней договорился, чтобы она звонила и докладывала мне о своём самочувствии два раз в неделю после того, как в 2013г. ей поставили кардиостимулятор. Тогда она попала в больницу потеряв сознание на улице и лечащий врач сказал мне, что у неё изношенное сердечко и плюс сахарный диабет и если ей не поставить кардиостимулятор, то она долго не протянет. Мне удалось убедить её это сделать, хотя разговор был довольно тяжёлый и в конце его она сказала-делай как считаешь нужным. Добро на операцию я дал и с тех пор у неё стоял ритмоводитель. Прошло два года нормальной жизни.

26 сентября события завертелись как в калейдоскопе, ей стало плохо, она позвонила мне и я срочно приехал. В понедельник вызвал врача, лучше не становилось и во вторник я вызвал скорую и вместе с ней поехал в больницу. В среду вечером навестил её, она сказала, что её стало лучше и что она даже два раза покушала. Где-то около половины шестого уехал домой, а в четверг мне позвонили из больницы и сказали, что в 8 часов вечера она умерла.

За каких-то 5 дней она сгорела как свечечка, выглядело это всё как-то неправдоподобно и нереалистично, оборвалась последняя родительская ниточка. 14 лет назад ушёл Папа и вот теперь не стало и Мамы. В 2013 г. мне удалось спасти её, а вот сейчас нет. Остались только воспоминания и фотографии. Прожила она 88,5 лет, до последнего дня занималась ежедневно физкультурой, всегда была в здравом уме, весёлой и никогда не унывающей.

Прошёл месяц с того дня, как её не стало, а она постоянно стоит у меня перед глазами, а потому в память о ней я хочу выложить несколько фотографий из её жизни.

* Для полноформатного просмотра иллюстраций наведите курсор на изображение и щёлкните левой клавишей мышки. Большинство иллюстраций позволяют это делать.

* To view the full-length illustration, move the cursor over the image and click the left mouse button. Most illustrations make this possible.

1950г. Выборг Мама и Папа (обоим по 33 года)

01   50г Выборг Мама и Отец_NEW

1952г.  Я и Мама (мне 3 года)

01.1   52г Выборг Мама и Я

1971г. Папа и Мама. Им по 44 года. Фото сделано на Батарейной горе в Выборге, которая является господствующей высотой над всем городом и с которой открывается великолепный вид на весь старый Выборг.

02   71г Выборг Батарейная гора Отец и Мама-им по 44г_NEW

1986г. Папа и Мама на отдыхе в Дивноморском (под Краснодаром) со своим двоюродным братом и его женой. Господи, как она радовалась, что нашёлся её двоюродный брат.

04   86г Дивном-ое Папа Мама и  дв. бр. Эрнест с ж. Полиной_NEW

2009г. 19 июля.  Поездка в Выборг с семьёй моего младшего сына Сергея. Мама со своей правнучкой и моей внучкой Кирой. Малявке чуть меньше года (родилась 5 сентября 2008г).

06   19.07.09г  Выборг с Сергеем дома-Мама с Кирой - копия_NEW

2009г. 20 сентября. Приехал к Маме после своего дня Рождения (12.09.49г). Позвал, повернулась, вот тут я и фоткнул.

06.1   20.09.09г Выборг дома-Мама_NEW

2014г. 16 сентября. Приезжал к маме почти сразу после своего дня Рождения. Это фото, пожалуй, одно из лучших, что у меня есть.

08   16.09.14г В Выборге_NEW

2015г. 20 августа. Скорбное фото. 19 августа я приехал к Маме на очередную дату смерти Папы (14 лет, как его не стало и 14 лет, которые Мама прожила, практически, одна, не считая наших нечастых наездов к ней и телефонных разговоров). 20 августа мы посетили с ней могилку Отца, на которой я не был несколько последних лет, так сложилось. Прибрал всё, приклеил отвалившуюся фотографию. Пока прибирал, мама сказала: « Лёня, когда я помру, ты должен похоронить меня рядом с отцом». Я ей заметил, что вроде как рано ты засобиралась, сердечко отремонтировали, правнуки-правнучки растут, есть ещё  для кого и для чего жить. Но… не сложилось. После кладбища помянули батю, вышли на балкон и она попросила меня сфотографировать её на фоне своих любимых цветов на балконе, что я и сделал. Не думал я тогда, что это будут её последние прижизненные фото.

09   21.08.15г В Выборге_NEW

Грустно и больно до слёз, хотя сам же учил своих детей, что настоящие мужчины не плачут. Напоследок песни, как нельзя лучше характеризующие моё теперешнее настроение, да и Мамочке они нравились. и в начале одна из самых любимых Мамой песен: «Оренбургский пуховый платок».

Прости меня Мама за то, что не уберёг я тебя, за то, что не удалось мне тебя спасти. ПРОСТИ.

Господи, упокой душу твоей рабы ЛИДИИ.

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