Юмор
Шутки и анекдоты
Для зарядки бодрости и духа
Дельный совет. Если у жены внезапно улучшилось настроение, то надо срочно найти другое место для заначки.
Если женщина говорит — Отстань дурак, не спешите уходить, тут всё зависит от интонации.
Кружка пива усиливает красоту женщины,
две кружки пива увеличивают смелость мужчины,
а три кружки пива ведут в сортир.
«Не ошибается тот, кто ничего не делает».
Я ж вроде ни хрена не делаю, откуда столько косяков-то, йоптвоюмать?!
Однажды, меня все достанут, и я закачу глаза так, что увижу свой мозг.
Говорят, что на зло не нужно отвечать тем же. Ну как это не отвечать? Человек же старался, делал.
— Обвиняемый! Почему вы удaрили мужчину из соседней квaртиры?
— Он тaйком рaзводит кур! И это в городской квaртире, нa двенaдцaтом этaже!
— Чем же это вaм помешaло?
— Я три месяцa лечился у психиaтрa, считaя, что кукaрекaние — плод моего больного вообрaжения.
Самый жуткий день в году 30 декабря. Полный холодильник еды, а ничего нельзя есть — все на завтра. А хуже только 1 января: и выпивки, и закуски море, а в глотку уже ничего не лезет! Акция «Не трогай, это на Новый год» закончится 31 декабря. А с 1 января начнется другая: «Жрите, а то все испортится!»
Это неловкое чувство, когда вечером приходишь домой и ничего нового в интернете, потому что всё уже посмотрел на работе…
Метки: анекдот, бодрость, дух, женщина, зарядка, мужчина, совет, чувство, шутка, юмор
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