Шутки и анекдоты

Шутки и анекдоты

В операционной:
– Сделаем надрезы в районе лопатки, потом займемся разделкой грудинки и корейки…
– Скажите, а вы точно хирург?

Гаишник останавливает машину, а за рулем — его бывшая учительница:
— Здравствуйте, Марья Ивановна, доставайте ручку, бумагу и пишите 100 раз: «Я больше никогда не буду нарушать правила дорожного движения…»

Если я кем-то и восхищаюсь, то это 1% известных микробов, которых не может убить Доместос.

Из СМС-переписки:
– Я сегодня была у доктора, и он сказал, что у меня грудь как у 20-летней девушки
– А про 50-летнюю задницу он ничего не говорил?!
– Нет… Про тебя вообще разговора не было!


Какая скотина сделала мою куклу Вуду и поёт ей колыбельные после обеда?


Кошелёк называют домиком для денег. Как не загляну, вечно никого дома нет.


Ну привет, Утро… Ты само-то хоть выспалось, чудовище каждодневное…


Странное время: телефон без кнопок, двери без ручек, люди без мозгов, отношения без чувств..


Французский винодел, попробовав российский коньяк, понял, почему русские занюхивают, запивают, закусывают и всё равно морщатся.


Тёща у велосипеда копошится, зять из окна:
– Мам, а куда это вы собрались?
– На кладбище, сынок.
– Нормально, а кто велосипед назад прикатит?

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22 комментария на «:-))) 035 О жизни: Ну, привет, утро…»

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