Шутки и анекдоты

Шутки и анекдоты

Юмор для зарядки бодрости и духа


О семье

При выбросе хлама из комнаты, главное- не начать его рассматривать, иначе даже использованная ватная палочка кажется родной и нужной.

О мужчинах 

Самый надёжный способ запомнить день рождения жены – забыть его хотя бы раз. Джозеф Коссман

 – Беня, это правда, что ты женишься на Соне только потому, что у неё много денег?

– Враньё! Я женюсь на ней потому, что у меня нет ни гроша.

-Изя, вы когда-нибудь видели детектор лжи?- Я непросто видел, меня ещё угораздило на неё жениться.

Комар, укусивший пьяного рыбака, потом ещё два часа рассказывал ему про свою тяжёлую жизнь.

О женщинах

Если женщина не помнит, где оставила резинку для волос, это не значит, что она забыла, что ты ей сказал ровно шесть месяцев назад в 17:43.

Одесситка приходит к врачу:
– Доктор, мой муж болен.
– Раздевайтесь и покажите, где у него болит…

 О детях

— Мама, папа, завтра родительское собрание в садике. Пойдёте?
— Нет, доча, мы лучше на эти деньги с тобой в Египет съездим!

О жизни 

У природы нет плохой погоды, Каждая погода благодать. Но когда дожди идут полгода – Это может очень задолбать.

Бензин подорожал, водка тоже. Квартплату и штрафы – повысили… Хорошо, что зарплату не прибавили. Хоть какая-то стабильность…

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